This topic is an interesting one as you can see the subtle difference between the three. In the present mundane life we cannot win all situations we come across by using our knowledge alone. It is the relationship that counts which works wonders for us, for our life hinges on relationships. Acquaintance is a mere meeting between individuals and friendship is developed through acquaintances. Relationship building is far more important as it is the one and only stepping stone for success.
I got awakened by understanding about relationships as I read an article recently on this very topic which moved me very much. I share my thoughts with you for the benefit of everyone who is interested in this subject. We can see that life is all about relationships.
The primary one is intra-relationship – your relationship with yourself. We can give only what we have. Be it Prosperity or Poverty, we can share only what we have. If I don’t accept myself for what I am, I will not be able to accept you for what you are. It goes without saying that whatever I need to give the world, it must first start with me. The world I perceive is just a reflection of how I perceive myself. I can love the world only to the proportion I love myself. We must get our relationship with ourselves right, before we even attempt to get our relationship with others right.
The second is interrelationship – our relationship with others. We can see a typical transaction like: If you do this, then I will do that for you. If you don’t do this, then I will not do that for you. When love depends on ‘what you do’ and ‘what you don’t’, it disturbs the flow of relationship. Where conditions succeed, love fails. Where love succeeds, there can be no conditions. Relationship is a matter of the heart between persons. The net result where there are conditions is insecurity in relationships. If my thought process makes me feel that for enduring the relationship I have to keep doing things that would please someone, it can happen with two possibilities.
Possibility one: I want to be ‘me’, and so much I want to be ‘me’ that I will let go of that relationship, which doesn’t allow me to be ‘me’. Once, twice, thrice… when repeatedly my relationships fall apart, and all that because I wanted to be ‘me’, I become insecure. Helplessly the question creeps into the mind, “why is that no one is able to accept me for what I am?”
Possibility two: I want that relationship so much that I am willing to do anything and everything for the sake of pleasing him. I don’t care what I lose, but I want to save the relationship. My values, my principles, my originality, my priorities… in effect, my very life goes for a toss, for the sake of keeping the relationship intact. Eventually, I become manipulative. This everyday struggle to keep the relationship going makes me lose my self esteem, and that makes me insecure.
Remember that Love is love, only when, what you do and what you do not do does not alter my love for you which is called unconditional love. Otherwise be sure there is no love.
If we have even one relationship in our life – just one, where, what we do and what we don’t will not alter their love for us – we will certainly transcend insecurity. With the strength of security derived from that one relationship, we will be able to face everything else in life.
People have to be corrected when they have to be corrected. Tell them they are wrong when they have to be told. There are certain responsibilities that must be fulfilled in every relationship. But we should not let this define our love. Let others know, no matter what they do, no matter what they don’t, you will love them the same forever by being a source of security.
Finding an unconditional lover is a consequence. Being an unconditional lover is a choice. Wanting an unconditional lover in your life makes you dependent. Choosing to be an unconditional lover makes you dependable. The best words you can ever utter in a relationship is, “I will love you the same forever…”
The all-important relationship is the Spiritual relationship – your relationship with god. No one can tell as to the time period for life to go on without the source of energy, the sun. For every cause there is a effect and this is very true. Thus we can see that on removing the sun from the sunrays, there are no more sunrays. Also if you remove the gold from the necklace, there is no more a necklace. If you remove the mud from the pot, there is no more a pot. So also if we remove that source of life from ourselves, from our relationships, then nothing remains. Through prayers, through meditation, through the way you live your life, by the purity of your thoughts and feelings, by blemish less character, by devotion, surrender and faith, by doing, by non-doing… whatever be your ways …by all the ways live a life where you feel his presence all the time. It will augur in good stead and will give you a feeling of the expression, “My life is flowing…”
From the fore going we can see that relationship and life are tied and we should attempt to build a proper relationship and also make it sustain for infinite length of time. It is all about transactions between individuals. Maintaining an excellent relationship in our life will get us networked with others by proper bonding and the results will talk for itself. You will certainly have good thoughts in your mind where there will be clarity and no cloud and you will see prosperity and no pain and also have a peace of mind added with happiness.
Be blissful.
S.Sekar
Contact: sekrajc@yahoo.com
I got awakened by understanding about relationships as I read an article recently on this very topic which moved me very much. I share my thoughts with you for the benefit of everyone who is interested in this subject. We can see that life is all about relationships.
The primary one is intra-relationship – your relationship with yourself. We can give only what we have. Be it Prosperity or Poverty, we can share only what we have. If I don’t accept myself for what I am, I will not be able to accept you for what you are. It goes without saying that whatever I need to give the world, it must first start with me. The world I perceive is just a reflection of how I perceive myself. I can love the world only to the proportion I love myself. We must get our relationship with ourselves right, before we even attempt to get our relationship with others right.
The second is interrelationship – our relationship with others. We can see a typical transaction like: If you do this, then I will do that for you. If you don’t do this, then I will not do that for you. When love depends on ‘what you do’ and ‘what you don’t’, it disturbs the flow of relationship. Where conditions succeed, love fails. Where love succeeds, there can be no conditions. Relationship is a matter of the heart between persons. The net result where there are conditions is insecurity in relationships. If my thought process makes me feel that for enduring the relationship I have to keep doing things that would please someone, it can happen with two possibilities.
Possibility one: I want to be ‘me’, and so much I want to be ‘me’ that I will let go of that relationship, which doesn’t allow me to be ‘me’. Once, twice, thrice… when repeatedly my relationships fall apart, and all that because I wanted to be ‘me’, I become insecure. Helplessly the question creeps into the mind, “why is that no one is able to accept me for what I am?”
Possibility two: I want that relationship so much that I am willing to do anything and everything for the sake of pleasing him. I don’t care what I lose, but I want to save the relationship. My values, my principles, my originality, my priorities… in effect, my very life goes for a toss, for the sake of keeping the relationship intact. Eventually, I become manipulative. This everyday struggle to keep the relationship going makes me lose my self esteem, and that makes me insecure.
Remember that Love is love, only when, what you do and what you do not do does not alter my love for you which is called unconditional love. Otherwise be sure there is no love.
If we have even one relationship in our life – just one, where, what we do and what we don’t will not alter their love for us – we will certainly transcend insecurity. With the strength of security derived from that one relationship, we will be able to face everything else in life.
People have to be corrected when they have to be corrected. Tell them they are wrong when they have to be told. There are certain responsibilities that must be fulfilled in every relationship. But we should not let this define our love. Let others know, no matter what they do, no matter what they don’t, you will love them the same forever by being a source of security.
Finding an unconditional lover is a consequence. Being an unconditional lover is a choice. Wanting an unconditional lover in your life makes you dependent. Choosing to be an unconditional lover makes you dependable. The best words you can ever utter in a relationship is, “I will love you the same forever…”
The all-important relationship is the Spiritual relationship – your relationship with god. No one can tell as to the time period for life to go on without the source of energy, the sun. For every cause there is a effect and this is very true. Thus we can see that on removing the sun from the sunrays, there are no more sunrays. Also if you remove the gold from the necklace, there is no more a necklace. If you remove the mud from the pot, there is no more a pot. So also if we remove that source of life from ourselves, from our relationships, then nothing remains. Through prayers, through meditation, through the way you live your life, by the purity of your thoughts and feelings, by blemish less character, by devotion, surrender and faith, by doing, by non-doing… whatever be your ways …by all the ways live a life where you feel his presence all the time. It will augur in good stead and will give you a feeling of the expression, “My life is flowing…”
From the fore going we can see that relationship and life are tied and we should attempt to build a proper relationship and also make it sustain for infinite length of time. It is all about transactions between individuals. Maintaining an excellent relationship in our life will get us networked with others by proper bonding and the results will talk for itself. You will certainly have good thoughts in your mind where there will be clarity and no cloud and you will see prosperity and no pain and also have a peace of mind added with happiness.
Be blissful.
S.Sekar
Contact: sekrajc@yahoo.com
