Building relationship is a
vital thing for every individual. Building a good and a long lasting
relationship is more important. Every relationship is not to make me happy but
to make me spiritually conscious. Family life can be called a spiritual
relationship. The best critic of your life is your spouse.
What hurts us in a
relationship? It is the insult that hurts us. Our Ego is hurt when we identify
ourselves with our ego. It reacts. Our attitude becomes ‘Tit for tat’. Our Ego
misguides to hurt the person whom you loved most. When ego is hurt, we are in a
sleeping world (dream world). The actions we perform are unintelligent. You
have to wake up from the Ego and become aware of surroundings. Slowly come out
from the grip of the ego. Then the grip is weakened.
We go to the next stage
called surrender. Accepting the situation as it is, will be our response. We
have to respond instead of reacting to situations. There are two planes. One is
ego plane and the other is without ego plane. Conflicts and problems will always be there between
individuals. We have to remove Ahamkara i.e. “I” from our mind. We have to do
this consciously and be aware of this. We should be aware that our anger does
not rise and thereby act accordingly. We should accept the situation as it is, since
it is beyond our control. Since we are aware of the situation, we realize that
Ego is the problem. Wife or husband is not the problem.
Another point to be noted is the argument between
husband and wife. We have to wait for an opportunity to return back to normal. We
have to come out of the grip of the ego. The time taken to return back to
normalcy has to be gradually reduced. Check the time taken to come to normal
behavior after the argument, ego episode. Be spiritually conscious all the
time.
Desire leads to anger which in turn leads to violence.
If we want to remain peaceful and calm, while in anger, we should not hold any
conversation. There is a tug of war between mind and intellect when we are
angry. Hence we should be alert during anger.
Since mind is the cause of all problems, we have to
make our mind anger-proof by reducing FIR
which means,
Frequency of anger can be
reduced
Intensity of anger can be
reduced
Recovery period (to come to
normal) can be reduced.
Happiness lies in one’s state of mind. There is no
other way to get happiness. We can measure happiness by the following equation:
Happiness = Number of desires
fulfilled
------------------------------------
Number of
desires you have.
Let us try to build a long
lasting relationship with whom so ever we come into contact with, which will
bring happiness all the time and also enjoy our life to the fullest. After all
Life is for living and we should try to live a healthy and a happier life.
Be blissful.
S.SEKAR – On a spiritual
path
Cat has nine lives but I
have only one.
Contact: sekrajc@yahoo.com
Blog site:
ssekar.blogspot.com
