BUILDING RELATIONSHIP

 

Building relationship is a vital thing for every individual. Building a good and a long lasting relationship is more important. Every relationship is not to make me happy but to make me spiritually conscious. Family life can be called a spiritual relationship. The best critic of your life is your spouse.

What hurts us in a relationship? It is the insult that hurts us. Our Ego is hurt when we identify ourselves with our ego. It reacts. Our attitude becomes ‘Tit for tat’. Our Ego misguides to hurt the person whom you loved most. When ego is hurt, we are in a sleeping world (dream world). The actions we perform are unintelligent. You have to wake up from the Ego and become aware of surroundings. Slowly come out from the grip of the ego. Then the grip is weakened.

We go to the next stage called surrender. Accepting the situation as it is, will be our response. We have to respond instead of reacting to situations. There are two planes. One is ego plane and the other is without ego plane.  Conflicts and problems will always be there between individuals. We have to remove Ahamkara i.e. “I” from our mind. We have to do this consciously and be aware of this. We should be aware that our anger does not rise and thereby act accordingly. We should accept the situation as it is, since it is beyond our control. Since we are aware of the situation, we realize that Ego is the problem. Wife or husband is not the problem.

Another point to be noted is the argument between husband and wife. We have to wait for an opportunity to return back to normal. We have to come out of the grip of the ego. The time taken to return back to normalcy has to be gradually reduced. Check the time taken to come to normal behavior after the argument, ego episode. Be spiritually conscious all the time.

Desire leads to anger which in turn leads to violence. If we want to remain peaceful and calm, while in anger, we should not hold any conversation. There is a tug of war between mind and intellect when we are angry. Hence we should be alert during anger.

Since mind is the cause of all problems, we have to make our mind anger-proof by reducing FIR which means,

Frequency of anger can be reduced

Intensity of anger can be reduced

Recovery period (to come to normal) can be reduced.

Happiness lies in one’s state of mind. There is no other way to get happiness. We can measure happiness by the following equation:

                 Happiness = Number of desires fulfilled

                                  ------------------------------------

                                 Number of desires you have.

 

Let us try to build a long lasting relationship with whom so ever we come into contact with, which will bring happiness all the time and also enjoy our life to the fullest. After all Life is for living and we should try to live a healthy and a happier life.

 

Be blissful.

 

S.SEKAR – On a spiritual path

Cat has nine lives but I have only one.

Contact: sekrajc@yahoo.com

Blog site: ssekar.blogspot.com